Hair, Hair, Long Beautiful Hair

As a child of the sixties, hair was the cause of many a furor with parents, authorities and the society's Leave it to Beaver attitudes. In other words, men should have crew cuts and women should have boufant hair-dos. Long hair meant you were a hippie or a criminal, and the two were not mutually exclusive.

That was then and as I often tell young people, we paved the way the way for them to grow their hair anyway they like, and apparently that now means on their face, too.

Hair. Why is it so important to us? As I face the daily hair loss from chemo, I find the issue to be quite emotional. Family and friends who have faced cancer have all had a repeating refrain. Losing their hair was the hardest part of the treatment. Despite days, upon weeks, upon months of feeling sick, overwhelming fatigue, loss of appetite, not to mention the courage to face the next treatment, the majority of survivors gave hair loss as their number one misery. 

I have to admit, that at first, it was a quandry. I wasn't sure if I should shave it off after the first treatment, or wait until it was a problem. I opted for baby steps. I had it cut short, a pixie cut. Since I had been sporting an A line shoulder length cut, this seemed like a way to cut down on the clean-up and prepare me for the inevitable. Still there was that lingering hope that I wouldn't require a shave and I was convinced I wouldn't wear a wig.

The hair continued to fall and I began to wear scarves to at least keep the shedding experience my own, rather than seeing it at work, or while cooking and eating. Showering was a daily emotional experience. You would walk into the shower and exit with a handful of hair from the drain. My good friend jokingly said she would tell me to shave when I got to the comb over stage. Still I procrastinated. 

Then one sleepless night, I sat up and realized I was not going to shave it. My dilemma was based on feeling like I had no choice. That cancer had won this round. It would take me hostage for 6 months and then another 6 months of waiting for the hair to grow back. At that "aha" moment, I knew what to do. I went online and found a web site that carried hats for cancer hair loss. The web site Hats, scarves and more had dozens of hats that were stylish, beautiful and FIT! I ordered four.

Within a few days, the package arrived. Inside, my order was carefully wrapped in tissue and a beautiful, personal note was attached to the ribbon. 

I have worn the hats with confidence and received many compliments along with the question, why didn't I just shave my head. The answer is simple. I wanted to see what cancer did to me everyday. To stare in the mirror and remind myself, it's only hair. I will win this battle. I will win this war, with or without hair. Today, I look like a Minion and as soon as I find a pair of blue overalls, I will post my new look. Cancer 0. Eularee 1!